Evaluation

   It was that time of year again. A reminder was thrown in Mephostophilis' face everywhere he turned. "Be sure to evaluate your master!" all the emails read. Lucifer even bothered to create poster-illusions with big font that said, "YOUR FEEDBACK IS IMPORTANT." Mephostophilis groaned and finally began filling out the annual Devil's Master Evaluation.  

     1: My master is worthy of his position.  

     "Way to start out with a loaded question," Mephostophilis muttered. His first instinct was to slam on the “Strongly disagree” button and move on, but he thought that might not be fair. True, Doctor Faustus is completely clueless in how everything’s supposed to work. Like, he just assumed that by Mephostophilis appearing, he could just demand him to do whatever he wanted without even making a contract with great Lucifer first (1.3.35-43). Idiot. There are rules here, buddy-boo! And it’s not that Faustus is even doing this for the right reasons. He wanted riches! To be loved and admired! His motivations have nothing to do with devils! (1.1.75-94) Certainly, this makes him decidedly NOT worthy. But it felt mean to select “Strongly disagree,” so Mephostophilis settled for “Disagree.” 

     2: My master is devoted to Lucifer. 

    On this question, Mephostophilis did not hesitate to hit “strongly disagree” and move on immediately. That bloody human signed a contract, a LEGAL DOCUMENT, binding his soul to Lucifer. And he...he had the AUDACITY TO REPENT! (2.2.89-90) NOT. OKAY. Of course, later he changed his mind and was all, “Oh, Lucifer is great” (2.2.188). But that doesn’t change anything. The weakness was noted.  

     3: My master respects me. 

     Mephostophilis just laughed. Faustus doesn’t respect his boundaries when there’s things Mephostophilis doesn’t want to talk about (2.2.74-6) and Faustus refuses to let Mephostophilis inhabit his natural form! He called him ugly (1.3.25-6). “Disagree.”