Mephistopheles Doesn't Have Time For Your BS

Mephistopheles is at the water cooler with other demons, on break in Hell Inc.

M: Then I said, "Send him to the pit!"

M and other demons laugh.

Demon 1: Hey Meph, are you going to Beelzebub's bachelor party? I heard it's gonna be lit!

M (Drinking lava out of a paper cup): Maybe...my soul quota is just about filled. I just need one more soul and then I get one extra vacation day!

M and Demons all cheer, a lesser demon/imp flies in with a clip board up to M: Mephistopheles! Big Boss needs you in his office right away! It's about your quota!

M and imp/demon are in Lucifer's office. Lucifer is smoking a thick cigar and blows rings that look like tortured faces. Outside his window there are volcanoes and a lava river, now and then you would be able to hear a tortured scream. 

Lucifer (smiling): Glad you could make it Meph! Congratulations on almost meeting your quota!

M: No problem boss, what do you need?

Lucifer sifts through a pile of papers on his desk and holds up one manila folder: This is [REDACTED] Faustus, or just Dr. Faustus! He's a doctor studying theology and thinks he's smarter than a pack of smarties! He wants to dabble in the dark arts and learn all the worlds knowledge and maybe help people but, we all know that's not true (chuckles).

M (Chuckling): Good one sir! 

Imp/demon (chuckles)

Lucifer: Anyway, this is your final soul! He's a tough cookie so you have access to the Seven Deadly Sins to get him interested. He has the attention span of a squirrel so it won't matter. And remember, you get an extra vacation day if you get him to sign the contract!

M: You can count on me sir!

Lucifer: Oh, and one more thing, God will be trying to stop you, so make sure you do everything you can! He's Catholic! 

M nods and poofs out of the office. Lucifer sighs and looks out his window and speaks to himself as he reads through Faustus's record.

Lucifer: Poor Meph...this human is the absolutely worse. Not even the demon unions can help...