Status Report

Status Report of John Faustus’ soul

Upon receiving John Faustus’ contract in which his soul is given to you, my lord, in exchange for infinite demonic magicks and otherworldly powers for exactly four and twenty years, Faustus has made use of said powers in a way that is…well, interesting.

He wished for a wife, so I presented him with a rather enthusiastic demon, just for a bit of fun, but he wasn’t much impressed. I gave him gold and luxurious clothing and even entertained him with the infamous Seven Deadly Sins. I have shown him the reach of our powers, and yet I am still baffled by this man.

He requested to play tricks on the Pope, for instance. He had us disguise ourselves as cardinals and go to a banquet so that we might steal food and dishes, but we ended up beating up a bunch of friars to escape.

I feel as though my powers are wasted on this type of frivolous nonsense, but, then again, people have sold their souls for less. I’m not sure why I expected more from this Doctor Faustus. Of course, he has requested knowledge, and he certainly has learned more than any regular man on Earth, but I still cannot take him seriously.

Just yesterday, he wanted to play a joke on a horse-courser by selling him a horse that dissolved in water. When he came to complain, Faustus pretended to be asleep and had me conjure up a fake leg that the horse-courser pulled on to freak him out. Is this what I have been reduced to? A means for practical jokes and amusement?

Unfortunately for Faustus, his time is almost up. He foolishly still thinks that hell is not real and that he will not suffer once he is decimated and damned for all eternity. My only hope is that we won’t see each other in hell very often. I’ve already suffered enough with him on Earth.

Yours in Damnation,

Mephistopheles